I also find myself wishing she was here to fill in the gaps in my memory of my childhood. I tried to ask her as much as I could about me as a baby...Like my first steps, first words, etc....But it's random things...The last two weekends, I've made it a point to get out and to bike ride because I love it so much. It is the one hobby that I've always enjoyed and has never faded. As I was riding, I wondered, how did I actually come to enjoy bike riding? Did I see my dad riding a bike? Who bought me my first bike? Who taught me how to ride? I remember having a pink bike with frills hanging from the handle bars. I think my dad came round and took the training wheels off for me. These are the memories that make me long to pick up the phone and call my mom.
Recently, I've started thinking about children and how I would enjoy being a mom and how I would raise my children like my mom did. Granted, I'm still way off from having children, I definitely look forward to that day.
Every year since my mom has passed away, I try to do something to honor her memory. The first year, I grew out my hair and donated 11 inches to Locks for Love. When my mom was first diagnosed with lung caner, I told her that I would eventually do it. The following years including this year, I've made a donation to Lungevity, a research and advocacy group for lung cancer and early detection. Next year, I am thinking of joining the cancer research team and running the London marathon. I'll also turn 35 so it will be a great milestone for me too. I'll have to raise 2000 pounds but it will be well worth it. Long term, I definitely want to be a philanthropist and help these types of organizations.
Despite not having my mom here, I very much keep her alive in my thoughts and in my heart. There's not a day that goes by when I don't think of her. I also like to lecture people about treating their mothers well and telling them you love them. You only get one mom and when she's gone, there will be no other. As I get older and the years go by, I know my memory will get worse. I may not end up remembering much from my childhood but I will always know that I was loved by my mom and she knew that I loved her. That alone is priceless to me and makes being without her less difficult.
I found this quote on the Internet that I shared with my family and friends to remember my mom today. " We only have One Mom, One Mommy, One Mother in this World, One life. Don't wait for the Tomorrow's to tell Mom, you love her." - Author Unknown.
